Doc, you don’t know what you’re missing. Few people can mine comedy from personal drama like Sheen: it’s a skill that scored him a Golden Globe award last year for having the chops–and the chutzpah–to follow Michael J. Fox in the lead role on “Spin City.” And it’s earned him the starring role in perhaps the season’s funniest new sitcom, CBS’s “Two and a Half Men”–as well as one of TV’s most coveted time slots, right after “Everybody Loves Raymond.”
Sheen plays Charlie Harper, a successful jingle writer reveling in wine, women and song. But then his high-strung brother, Alan (Jon Cryer), moves in, toting a 10-year-old son and (yawn) the emotional baggage of a busted marriage. Talk about a buzz kill. Yet what seems like a tired Oscar-and-Felix setup soon becomes something more akin to “The Courtship of Eddie’s Father” with the verbal thrust-and-parry of “Frasier,” as Charlie discovers that his carefree world was empty before his nephew showed up.
It’s hard to miss the real-life parallel. For a decade, Sheen was the Hedonist Prince of Hollywood, drinking, drugging and regaling journalists with quotes both anatomically correct and politically incorrect, mostly unreprintable. But from the heights of his acclaim in films such as “Platoon” and “Wall Street,” Sheen fell very far, very fast. In 1995 he testified against madam-to-the-stars Heidi Fleiss, admitting that he’d spent more than $50,000 on her prostitutes’ services. In May 1998 he was hospitalized, having shot up an epically injudicious amount of cocaine.
Critics also drew such parallels when Sheen played that tomcatting politico on “Spin City.” But today, at 37, he’s five years sober, happily married to actress Denise Richards (“Wild Things”) and aware that there’s far more to life than paid-for pleasure. “I’m lucky I found another area of this profession that’s welcomed me with open arms,” he says. “But I can’t have s–t without sobriety. If I trade that, I’ve traded my wife, my family, my friends, my career–and for what? This is what I’ve always wanted.”
Which isn’t to say that sobriety has made him a sobersides. Here’s Sheen talking about his wife: “I found somebody who’s just an angel. She’s a rare lady.” Then he adds, “Let’s face it: she’s really f—ing hot.” And while he’s glad to be free of the wild life, that doesn’t mean he’s quite ready to abdicate his title. “So who’s the new Hollywood bad boy?” he asks. “Colin Farrell? I’ve got three words for him: Am. A. Teur.” But then the new Charlie takes over. “I’m a fan of Colin’s,” he says. “I think he’s really good. Make sure you print that. If he gets a few pints in him, he’s liable to knock me out.”
If those ear-invading insects don’t get him first. But you’ll be glad to know that Sheen’s childhood trauma (short version: touch football, mosquito, Waterpik) won’t be relived today. The doctor finishes his exam and declares, “It’s not in there.” “Are you sure?” Sheen asks. The doc pats his shoulder. “You’re clean,” he says. And Charlie looks pretty happy about that.
