The more she talked, the less she resembled the child I’d read about who had lived through torment that most of us never experience in our worst nightmares. She entered the juvenile system five years ago. She had been sexually abused by an uncle, her father and her father’s friend. Her divorced mother, an attractive woman who is borderline retarded, is now seeing a man whose children may be be taken from him by the state. The boyfriend has a history of child abuse documented in a report that is longer than a Russian novel. The child’s paternal grandfather molested another of his daughters and served time in prison.
Since Mary was removed from her home, she has been caught in that purgatory known as protective care and passed around like a stack of papers-three foster homes, two residential treatment centers and eight schools. Her appearance is deceptive. When I first met her, she was very troubled. She wet her pants and was on medication to control the problem. She behaved sexually toward boys and could get verbally and physically aggressive.She threatened suicide a couple of times and mutilated herself, pulling out her hair or banging her head against a wall during tantrums. With intensive therapy she has learned to better manage her anger.
I am Mary’s Court Appointed Special Advocate–a voice speaking up for her in court. I’m neither a social worker nor a lawyer, but a trained volunteer assigned by a family-court judge to look out for Mary’s “best interests” so she doesn’t languish in protective custody.
I became a CASA after a friend asked me to get involved. She felt that I could empathize with these kids because of the complexities of my own childhood. I agreed to do it and went through 30 hours of training, because as a mother of three healthy kids, I felt I could not ignore other children who are in greater need. My only hesitation was the time commitment. I’m a freelance writer, and I was concerned about juggling two jobs.
There are some 37,000 advocates like me across the country. We telephone and visit families, gathering facts to track kids and their parents who get lost in the labyrinth of foster care. CASAs report their findings to judges who often have just minutes to decide where a child will live and for how long.
The importance of our work is underscored by the highly publicized death of Elisa Izquierdo, 6, in New York last month. Elisa, living with her father, was returned to her mother after his death last year. Her mother allegedly smashed the child’s head against a wall. How do these youngsters fall through the cracks? In my district, social workers may be assigned more than 50 cases, supervisors twice as many. CASA volunteers are assigned only one. We serve, at no cost to taxpayers, as an additional safety net, working alongside a multitude of professionals to try and ensure that children like Elisa do not return to unsafe homes.
Elisa’s tragedy has spurred me to fight harder to help Mary. Since I took on her case, I’ve had unique access to a family file filled with incidents of abuse that would sicken the hardest heart.
In a summer hearing, the court brushed aside the mother’s poor choice of companion and her lack of parenting skills; and moved toward reunifying mother and daughter. The mother’s psychological evaluation suggested that she should have her child back as long as they both continued therapy and Morn attended parenting and life-skills classes. Mary was then staying with her mother every other weekend. The judge decided to increase visits by one day a week and assess the case in two months.
In September the judge ruled that Mary should return home full time under the legal, watchful eye of the Division of Family Services. Early next year the case will be reviewed for the mother to regain permanent custody. I worry that this decision will be based not only on what’s best for the child but on the need to clear an overcrowded docket of a case that has gone on too long and is costing too much.
I’m not convinced living with her mother is the safest place for Mary. Mom is a good person who loves her daughter. Mary loves her mother and wants to remain home. But Mom has displayed poor parental judgment in the past. Once she failed to get medical attention for Mary when she injured herself seriously on a visit.
From the beginning, I knew reunification was the goal. But I really hoped it might not happen. Those handling the ease, including the social worker, therapists, lawyers and I, charted Mary’s future: where she’d be safest, have friends and someone to help with her homework. In my opinion, she should be with a paternal aunt who clearly loves her niece and wants to help.
In my area, there are some 800 kids who’ve been removed from their homes and placed in care. Before I became an advocate, I had no idea what happened to these youngsters and never considered how I could help. As more of us fight for these abused and neglected children, perhaps the level of public awareness will be raised and we’ll be able to protect more before they’re lost forever.
I’m still aghast at the judge’s recent decision to send the child home full time with Morn pending the final court ruling next year. The county’s family services will continue to insist Mary and her mom attend therapy and have intervention services until that time, and I’ll continue to monitor the whole family.
For the next few months I have a fighting chance to keep my one CASA child safe, if they let me. At least I can comfort myself with the knowledge that as long as I’m on this case, I will do the best that I can with the worst that I have to deal with.
