The video was posted to TikTok by the accused, Maki Tsuchiya (@klairemaki), who said in a follow-up clip that the customer was eventually handcuffed by police and escorted from the restaurant. The posts have amassed a combined total of nearly 7 million views and sparked a discussion about the “fight-flight-or-freeze” response.
The Confrontation
Tsuchiya’s first video opens with the customer making several snide remarks about Tsuchiya’s phone.
“Who paid for that?” the woman asked.
When Tsuchiya tells the woman she “doesn’t understand [her] aggression,” the woman says: “It’s not aggression, it’s a question…you want me to call the police on you?
“All I did is ask you if you paid for it,” the woman continued, motioning toward Tshuciya’s drink. “I heard it was free.”
Tsuchiya tells the woman she did, in fact, pay for her order, adding that she told her this information “two minutes ago.”
“You’re very articulate,” the woman said in response. “You did understand English. Do you understand other languages?”
When Tsuchiya doesn’t respond, the woman asks: “Oh what, you don’t want to have a congenial conversation?”
Eventually, Tsuchiya begins to cry.
“Oh you’re gonna cry about having to pay?” the woman jeered as Tsuchiya called for a worker.
The woman finally gets up from her table and starts shouting in the middle of the dining area.
“I’m sick of paying for others that don’t pay,” she said, looking straight into Tsuchiya’s camera.
Several customers intervene and, finally, the video ends with a worker coming to Tsuchiya’s aid.
So, What Happened?
In a follow-up video posted Tuesday, Tsuchiya said she was studying at Panera when the woman approached her.
“She just really wanted to know if I stole my drink. I was trying to explain, ‘No I’m part of the Sip Club membership,’” she said.
“She didn’t even have anything either, she was literally just, like, at my corner just to bother me,” she continued.
Tsuchiya further explained in a third video that the confrontation lasted about five minutes, and no one intervened until she called for help.
“Finally the manager came…but [the woman] wouldn’t leave, so the manager called the police,” Tsuchiya said, adding that the police purportedly took the woman to jail “for the day.”
Tsuchiya’s video included footage of the woman being handcuffed in the parking lot.
“If you see someone in a situation like mine, just stand up for them right away,” Tsuchiya concluded.
‘Fight-Flight-or-Freeze’
Tsuchiya said several commenters criticized her for not “standing up” for herself.
“You’ll never know [how you’ll respond] until you’re in that situation,” she said, adding that she thought she’d be able to fight back. Instead, she froze.
This comment led many viewers to discuss the “fight-flight-or-freeze” response.
According to BetterHelp, an online mental health platform, a person’s “fight-flight-or-freeze” response kicks in whenever they feel threatened.
“As soon as you recognize a threat, your nervous system shifts into the acute stress response. Specific physiological reactions take over your body, and you may feel mental and physical health changes morphing you into something you don’t recognize,” BetterHelp explained.
“The fight-flight-or-freeze response choice has a lot to do with your beliefs. If you believe you can conquer the danger, your body will jump into fight mode. But if you believe there’s no hope of defeating the attacker, you’ll naturally respond by running away,” the platform continued.
“When you respond by freezing, it usually indicates you feel you can’t win either by fighting or running.”
BetterHelp said that each response is “appropriate in certain situations,” and people can learn to control how they respond to danger with professional help.
Hundreds of commenters sent Tsuchiya words of encouragement, saying her response was “completely valid.”
“Hey, everyone has either fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses to these things. Freezing is completely valid, I do the same thing,” Raised.By.Bats wrote.
“Fight flight or freeze—you froze. That’s it, people respond differently. I’m a freezer too,” heykatiea said.
“Sending hugs!! No one can tell anyone how to react to situations. Everyone is different!” Lauren Wright exclaimed.
This Little Spark added: “Fight, flight or freeze. No need to justify what you did and why. We all can react differently and that is OK.”
Newsweek has reached out to Maki Tsuchiya for comment.
Other Viral Confrontations
In November, a gym-goer went viral for confronting a man who allegedly called her a “dumb c**t.” And in October, a video of two women arguing in an elevator about social distancing went viral.
