I went to the dependable oracle of wisdom, the Internet, but didn’t find much. There has been only one successful recall of a governor in the history of our country–in North Dakota, in 1921. I didn’t even find the poor chap’s name, although I admit I didn’t look too hard for that.
Anyway, the point is, these are seriously uncharted waters, and it seems that even the people who are supposed to know how to steer this boat haven’t a clue. Secretary of State Kevin Shelley has said, “The recall statutes in California are murky at best.” Great. That makes me feel better.
As a resident of California, these are the questions I would like answered:
If a special vote is held, does Davis have to leave right then and there? Do they pull a moving van up to the governor’s residence in Sacramento and make him sit on the lawn while they pack boxes? Does he get to say goodbye to anyone or is he expected to just slink away? And what about a going-away gift? I know the state is having budget problems, but would a box of candy be considered too lavish?
Who takes over on that day? According to news reports I’ve read, no one seems to know the answer to this. Maybe there will be a vote for a successor at the same time we vote whether to recall Governor Davis … then again, maybe not. Shouldn’t we decide this soon? Or will the state of California just be a rudderless ship? A region of chaos?
With no one in charge, vast numbers of people might just decide not to go to work and instead hit the beaches. Otherwise dependable citizens will be shouting, “Surf’s up!”–even if it’s not. (This is, after all, California. We have a reputation to preserve.)
It is possible, of course, that Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante could take over temporarily until another election is held and a new leader is chosen. But that doesn’t seem like a good solution. Remember in school when the teacher was absent and they sent a substitute? I have serious doubts that the lieutenant governor (who would in fact be a substitute governor) could get everyone off the beach let alone back into the polls to vote. The entire state would look like one big endless summer and the temporary governor would be standing on the sand in a rumpled suit yelling through a bullhorn, “OK, out of the water!” Yeah, right. I don’t think so, dude.
You can see my dilemma. And that of many other people. I didn’t sign the petition to recall Davis, by the way. I like his commitment to environmental issues and, while I know he’s fallen short in some areas, being governor is a hard job and he might just be in a bit of a slump. Besides, we’re so quick to break up with people. Shouldn’t we try to work on relationships instead of casting them aside at the first sign of trouble? That’s what Dr. Phil says to married couples going through troubled times. He’s always pointing out that it takes work, and negotiation, to make relationships work. It seems that, as a state, we might want to heed his advice.
If the worst-case scenario does happen, and we become a rogue state embroiled in chaos and lawlessness, I can see only one solution: Arnold Schwarzenegger will have to restore order and appoint Dr. Phil as lieutenant governor. Otherwise, we won’t get off the beach until next winter. And then we’ll just hit the hot tubs.
